My wife really dislikes slow drivers.
She tells our kids if she ever starts driving like an old person, they should “take me out behind the barn and shoot me.”
A few Aberdeen streets have a 20 mph speed limit. On those streets, some people drive less than 20. Kenna can't stand being behind those drivers. One day, Kenna said she was moving so slowly that her speed didn't register on the speedometer.
Kenna loved driving on Melgaard Road before the new Aberdeen Central was built. Now, she says, police enforce the speed limit more, which really cramps her style.
If you think she drives fast in town, you should see her on the highway. It takes me six or seven hours to get to Minneapolis. She gets there a lot faster.
Kenna gets to Fargo in two and a half hours without breaking a sweat. She flies without wings.
She maintains that she drives five miles over the speed limit. All that really matters to her, though, is that she doesn't get a speeding ticket.
My wife would have a great career in NASCAR. She could at least drive the pace car.
Behind the wheel, Kenna believes she is fully in command. Hotshot drivers excel at a reverse 180, also known as a Moonshiner's Turn or J-Turn. Someday, my wife will pull that stunt on her way to Herberger's.
My cautious driving infuriates her, especially when I'm following a slow driver. When we drove to western Nebraska in October, she was shocked when I actually passed a guy. She was afraid that we were going to “follow him all the way to Valentine.”
In every way possible, my wife lives in the fast lane. Kenna backs up faster than I drive.
Someday, my slow pace will send her over the edge. She'll grab the wheel, take charge and make it to her mother's house in no time. If anyone bothers to look, he'll find me stuffed inside the Stow and Go seating.
Jeff Bahr is an American News reporter. His email address is jbahr@aberdeennews.com. His phone number is 605-622-2320.
