SPRINGFIELD, Mo. -- Facebook is cited as a major factor in a growing number of marriage breakdowns. More attorneys every year use the site as evidence in divorce proceedings. An online study from a United Kingdom website found Facebook to be the driving force behind a third of divorces in which unreasonable behavior was a factor.
Dana Williams of Springfield was in what she thought was a good marriage. She and her husband had been together for eight years when she was faced with a gut-wrenching reality online. She said her friend showed her pictures of her husband with another woman on Facebook.com.
"And it was him saying he was so happy. He had his three month anniversary with this girl," said Williams.
Williams said her husband had set up a secret Facebook account. His profile picture showed him with another woman, and his status expressed his love for her.
"It was horrible. The betrayal. It was the betrayal that was horrible," said Williams.
A survey published by the U.K.-based website, www.divorce-online.co.uk, cited Facebook as a factor in one out of every three divorces involving "unreasonable behavior."
"Temptation we all know is something that everyone faces, and in the Internet age it's only a click away," said Gary Hay, the lead pastor at Hope Church in Springfield, Mo.
Hay said he has seen dozens of divorces due to affairs started on Facebook. He has personally counseled couples in his church about marital problems linked to Facebook.
"The offended spouse is very, very unaware of what's going on until it's too late," said Hay.
"Many times there's come to be a physical relationship involved by the time they even find out about it," he said.
In the month of February Hope Church members are observing what they call a media fast, meaning members abstain from TV and social networking sites for 21 days.
"Iinstead of doing that we spend more time together as a family, play games, do things together," said Joe Miller, a Hope Church member, who is taking part in the fast.
The goal of the media fast is to help strengthen relationships and prevent things like Williams' tale of betrayal.
"Not just a marriage but a family. A lot of times this involves children too," said Williams.
Williams said she found pictures on Facebook of her 9-year-old son with her husband and his girlfriend.
"A lot of the people we see are devastated," said Rick Van Pelt, a divorce attorney in Springfield.
Van Pelt said he has seen a steep increase in the number of couples citing Facebook as a reason for their failed marriages.
In a recent survey, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, discovered 81 percent of the nation's top divorce attorneys said they've started using pictures and posts from social networking sites like Facebook as evidence.
"People have an idea this information is secure, and I don't think it is," said Van Pelt.
Van Pelt said people are looking up old flames or finding new ones in common interest groups on Facebook and other sites like it.
"So I think Facebook just opens up a new avenue for people to communicate," said Van Pelt.
"It makes it easy to get into someone's life," said Hay.
"But that relationship might not have ever occurred under normal circumstances," he said.
Williams said she has been able to move on since her divorce. Her hope is that others will not have to go through the same heartbreak she experienced.
Hay recommends couples set up a joint Facebook account or exchange passwords in an effort to safeguard their marriages.
