Kathy Hon spends most mornings with her husband, but not at the place, or the in way that she'd like to do so. Sgt. First Class Ronald Hon left his wife behind last June 18.

"He was my best friend," she said.

Ron met Kathy in 2005. Both were in the National Guard. It was his second tour of duty and her first.

"It was about 14 months later he asked me to marry him in Baghdad," she said.

By the start of '09, the pair was newly retired. Ron made it through triple bypass surgery, and medication kept him healthy and happy. Both were ready start a new chapter and spend more time with grand-kids. Then, Kathy says, doctors changed Ron's prescription to a different brand.

"He was a true Southern gentleman and that new medication they put him on -- it was like Jekyll and Hyde," she said. "It was not my husband."

Verbal abuse and dark thoughts followed. Ron admitted something was wrong so, in June, he packed a suitcase and drove with his wife to the VA's Outpatient Clinic in Mt. Vernon.

"He's telling her (VA staff member) 'I'm suicidal; you have to admit me because I don't know what I'll do if I leave,'" said Kathy.

She says the VA staff prescribed more medications instead. On the drive back, Ron was quiet. He barely spoke to Kathy after they arrived home. That was rare but what happened next was something that Kathy never imagined.

"While I'm in the restroom, I heard him lock and load. So I open up the door, and there he is in the chair. And he's got the 9-millimeter. And he's got this blank look," she said. "I was less than a foot away from him when I saw him shoot himself."

"If she would have kept my husband, he'd be here," said Kathy.

But she didn't. Mount Vernon is an outpatient facility only, so holding suicidal veterans would mean sending them to the VA hospital in Fayetteville, Ark., or to a private hospitals in Joplin or Springfield. Kathy Hon says her husband, who wanted to be admitted, was never given that option.

Diana Collings works in suicide prevention at Mt. Vernon's clinic and explained VA policy for patients who may hurt themselves.

"If they are deemed suicidal, then it is what we call a warm hand off. In other words, they're never left alone," Collings said. "Then the provider will make an assessment based on input from the veteran."

"If a veteran says, 'I will go into the hospital,' we will send them to Fayetteville," she said.

Collings could not say why Ron didn't get that chance. Now it's not only Kathy but also local lawmakers wondering why.

"There's no excuse that any veteran who's feeling suicidal, who asks for help with his suitcase in hand, (should be) turned away. That should never happen," said U.S. Rep. Jo Ann Emerson, R-Cape Girardeau.

Emerson heard Ron's story, and called for an Inspector General's investigation. It's a first step to finding what went wrong, and the next step in Kathy's mission in memory of Ron.

"He knows me. I'm stubborn, and I'm not going to stop," she said.

Emerson's office expects the Inspector General's report in December. Hon plans to take Ron's story to Washington, D.C. early next year.

The VA does sponsor a National Suicide Hotline that can connect you to help in our area. That number is 1-800- 273-TALK (8255). Veterans in the Ozarks can call Mt. Vernon's clinic directly. That number is 1-800-253-8387.