Time to trot out this year's turkeys

With Thanksgiving almost here, it's time to present the annual Turkey of the Year Awards.

Recipients may cry fowl. But even if they haven't been turkeys all year, each winner has done something to merit this prestigious recognition.


The awards for 2012:

In mathematics, the Turkey of the Year Award goes to the St. Joseph County Election Board for its counting of ballots needed in each precinct.

Now, the award for supporting actor. The envelope please. And the winner of the turkey is Clint Eastwood's empty chair.

Next, the envelope for supporting actress. And the winner is John Gregg's mom in her Sandborn beauty parlor performance.

Mike Pence gets a turkey for avoiding those negative TV ads viewers say they hate and darn near blowing his huge early lead as he ran nothing but positive spots.

For dedication in higher education, the 2012 Turkey of the Year Award is presented to Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones, who said on Twitter: "Why should we have to go to class if we came here to play FOOTBALL, we ain't come to play SCHOOL, classes are POINTLESS."

In music, the turkey goes to Tony Bennett. Not the one who left his heart in San Francisco. The Tony Bennett who sings the blues after his surprise loss for superintendent of public instruction.

The turkey for use of modern technology goes to Raymond Jefferson, charged with armed robbery in taking $17,000 in merchandise from a Chicago Radio Shack store. Police quickly tracked him down thanks to the global positioning equipment that prosecutors say he stole.

Winner of the Quayle of the Year Award for performance in a political debate is President Obama.

The Award in Fiction goes to Mitt Romney for telling voters in Michigan and Ohio that the auto recovery effort was a mistake and Chrysler is moving Jeep production jobs to China.

For promotion of teeth whitener during a political debate, Joe Biden gets a turkey that smiles and smirks.

For marathon competition, Paul Ryan gets a slow moving turkey.

If the election were held today, would you vote for the accuracy of the Gallup Poll or Nate Silver's perfect projections? With no margin for error, the results are 100 percent for Silver and a turkey for Gallup.

Chris Chocola, the Club for Growth guru whose early and powerful financial support was instrumental in selection of Richard Mourdock as the GOP senatorial nominee, wins a special award: Turkey Producer of the Year.

St. Joseph County Republican Chair Deb Fleming gets a turkey for ignoring county political tradition and leading Republicans to capture control of the Board of County Commissioners.

South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg gets a turkey that gobbles, gobbles, gobbles like a South Bend cop on recorded phone line.

The Annual Gobbler for Being a Squabbler is carved in two this year and shared by equally squabbly squabblers, Bill Sniadecki on the South Bend School Board and Henry Davis Jr. on the South Bend Common Council.