Mother’s Day brings mixed emotions for many

Published: May. 6, 2022 at 8:32 PM CDT
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SPRINGFIELD, Mo. (KY3) - Mother’s Day may bring mixed emotions for those grieving the loss of a mother or a child.

Melanie Blair is a program coordinator at the Lost and Found Grief Center.

”We know they’re not here on earth with us but they’re still with us and we get to be able to be the keeper of those memories,” Blair says. “We get to be able to share that with other people. So we just need to allow ourselves to be able to do that.”

When it comes to grieving around holidays, Blair says to communicate your needs to others, allow yourself to feel your emotions and create a plan for the day.

“Not just one plan but maybe a plan b, knowing that if you choose to spend that day with others in your family and maybe they’re not always 100% understanding or supportive of your emotions, to know that it’s okay to cancel your plans and to be with yourself,” Blair says.

Not only does Blair work at the center, but she’s also a mom who lost a child.

“I still have three living children,” Blair says. “I’ve lost my son. The day brings a lot of emotions for me. I’m thankful and grateful for who I still have in my life but I’m very sad for who is still missing and we feel that.”

For her, Mother’s Day can bring up a lot of emotions.

Blair says she gives herself space on that day.

“I allow myself some grace for whatever I feel that day,” Blair says. “However I feel, I give myself permission to feel the sadness. But I also tell myself that I cannot live in that space all day because my other children and my husband deserve a better version of me.”

When Courtney Parsel was 15-years-old, her mom died unexpectedly.

“My method of coping with my grief at that time was to stay busy, to stay distracted and to not talk about it,” Parsel says. “Not talk about the loss. Not talk about my mom.”

Looking back, Parsel says that was more painful for her.

That’s why Parsel recommends others who are grieving talk through it, whether with a friend, family member, or counselor.

“To understand that you’re not alone,” Parsel says. “Grief is so very isolating and it can come with extreme ups and downs. It’s important to understand there may be days where you laugh and feel happy when you think about the person you lost and there’s gonna be a lot of days where you feel angry and sad.”

Parsel says for her, Mother’s Day looks different every year.

“There have been years where I find comfort in going to her grave,” Parsel says. “There are years I find comfort being with my family and there are years that I don’t want to do either of those things.”

If you have lost a loved one and need support, call the Lost and Found Grief Center at 417-865-9998 or visit the website.

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